I'm Afraid of Love With You
by AJLYAMBER96
Summary: Rated t for now. maybe m later if i find out how to change it. Traven! Trevor looks at me sceptically. "You will move on" What he meant, i didnt know. ive updated finally chapter 4... 5? sorry its so short!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Vampire kisses story, so go easy. i didnt see a lot of vampire kisses stories. so i thought id make my own, from my favorite couple. they need to be together.**

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Trevor's pov

I looked at the wonderful person sitting 2 seats in front of me. She was beautiful, as always. I've never opened up and told her. How could i? She just lost her… vampire freak of a boyfriend.

He just left her. And she did nothing to keep him here. Of course im glad don't get me wrong. She was available. But she still was hurting.

I wanted to tell her everything would be okay. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to show her I would be there for her, whenever she needed me. But… as I looked at the back of her head, I saw the pain she was going through. She was so hurt. She missed him terribly. I saw that every day through her smile as she forced it upon her face. Everyone saw it.

Rumors went through the halls. Why she was so sad. It was like she was more gothic than she was before that freak came to Benson Hill.

I heard the bell ring as I was lost in my thoughts.

I got up from my chair and walked up to Raven. "Uuuuhhh hi Monster girl. How are you?"

Off course I wanted to call her Raven. By her name. But it was too much right now. She scowled.

"Hi snob boy. What do you want?" I could see her scowl lessen as she started talking. It was no use. I knew what was wrong. "Never mind. I don't want to talk right now. Now isn't really the time Trevor." She got out of her chair and walked to the class door. I watched as she walked away. It was so hard for me not to run up to her and hold her. Why did that freak have to hurt her?

I followed her lead and went on my way to my locker. When I was halfway to my locker I saw a blonde waiting. Of course. Just great. Perfect.

"What do you want Jennifer?" I asked. I didn't care really. I was done with her.

"Oh don't be like that Trevy. I just have a small problem I know you can fix."

Who the fuck was she calling _Trevy?_ I didn't even have sex with her and she was _still _trying to get in my pants. I didn't want her. She knew that. Or at least I thought she did.

"I know what your problem is. It's desperation. I don't need your crap right now Jennifer."

I opened my locker, grabbed my books, and shut it loudly. Then I walked away from her dumb-struck expression. She really needed a life outside of fucking every guy around here. She probably had herpes.

I walked into my next class, evidently I had it with Matt, and I sat beside him.

"Hey Matt."

He turned to my direction and nodded in reply.

"So how'd it go with Raven?" I heard him ask.

I stared at him like he was a psychic. "How did you know?"

"I didn't. You just told me."

I glared at him face. It was like burning a whole deep in his brain. I wonder if he felt it.

Class was called to order at that moment, oh great, a test.

Class went on slowly, like always. When it was finally done I ran to my locker. I opened my lock and pushed my books into it, not even bothering with neatness. I caught up with matt and we entered the lunchroom.

I saw Raven sitting down. She was sulking again. I grabbed my lunch and said my goodbye to Matt. when he saw Becky beside Raven, no wonder, he had a full on crush on farm girl, he decided to come with me.

"Why exactly do you want to sit with Raven?" Matt asked me.

"Just to tease her." I grinned. It was so fun teasing her. Her reactions made it hilarious.

I walked up to Monster girl and laid my hand on her shoulder. I wasn't here to just watch her sulk. Time to move on Monster girl.

Raven's pov

I can't believe he left me. I can't believe, after everything we've been through, he left me. Like I was trash.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I gasped. Please let it not be him. I wasn't ready. I didn't need his teasing.

"Hey Monster girl. Mind if we sit with you?" Before she could even answer I pulled the seat beside her out and sat down with my lunch. "Don't look so shocked. I'm not gonna bite you." I saw him wink.

I hadn't taken notice that I was gaping at him. why was he sitting with us. Maybe it was because of Matt.

"What do you want?" I asked him with no interest. Why now? Why me? Oh right, we hated each other. That's why.

"To sit with you. What, I can't sit by you? Oh I am so hurt." He looked as if he was doing a play for drama class. His hand was on his chest as if he was actually offended. I giggled.

When I realized I had actually laughed, I looked down. It's been awhile since I even showed any emotion. Well, the usual emotion. To me nothing mattered anymore.

"You actually laughed. There's a change." He commented.

I brought my eyes up to his. why was he being so… so… new?

"I … Trevor. You don't want to sit with me. So just please go… and save me the teasing. I don't need it right now." I admitted. He was about to put me in a shell. I looked back down and started eating my lunch.

"Raven…." I flinched as he said my name. he usually calls me Monster girl or freak. I felt a hand under my chin. I tried to move my head away. But it forced me to look up. I let my eyes stay looking down. The hand pulled my face to the side, bringing me to face Trevor.

I felt like I was about to cry. I didn't want to hurt anymore. Not again. I blinked back the tears and tried to fight them away.

"Raven look at me please?"

I slowly lifted my eyes, fluttering open to look at him. I fought the tears away. But sure enough one traitor slipped down my cheek. I looked into Trevor's eyes, wondering why he had my do this. I saw his expression looked pained, but it vanished as soon as it came, so I thought I just imagined it altogether.

I saw Trevor take in a deep breath, and mummer, "You will move on."

And he grabbed his lunch after letting go of my chin, and he got up and left. I didn't know what he meant by what he said. It had nothing to do with us hating each other.

I finished my lunch and threw away the leftovers.

I walked to my locker and grabbed my books for my last class.

I wanted so badly to cry. But who could I kid anymore? I was already dead on the inside. I always have, and I always will.

Alexander leaving me just made me into a zombie.

I was nothing more.

My chest hurt so much.

It's the goodbye I never got from him.

Then why can't I say goodbye to him. He didn't even say it. He just left. It was like he never existed. Now I feel as if he never did. But somewhere deep down I felt him.

Ad it was killing me slowly.

I was slowly dying.

I was dying ever so slowly.

And I wouldn't die soon enough.

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**well wat did u think. constrictive critism is loved. so be honest.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2... tell em what you think.**

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Raven's Pov!

When I got home after school I just sat on my bed. _"You will move on."_ He said. What did he mean. I mean, how would he know. I was so hurt over Alexander's leaving, I felt lost without him. it's been so long since he kissed me and told me he loved me. Now I knew he didn't love me, but I couldn't help that shear feeling inside to make me believe he used to.

"Hey Raven, Mom wants you in the kitchen." Billy Boy spoke. I opened my eyes, without notice I had closed them, and looked at him as if he had 2 heads, four arms, and four legs. What did she want?

I didn't waste my time with hopeless things like cooking. I couldn't cook, so who were they cooking. But as I entered the kitchen, Mom and Dad sat at the dining table with solemn faces plastered over there usually happy and energetic ones.

I grimaced. This was going to come sooner or later.

"Hi Mom. Hi Dad. What do you need?"

Maybe I already knew their answer. It was always something like this since he left me here. I wasn't acting normal. And to them that was a shocker because I was usually dark. But now, even I fooled myself into thinking I was healthy. Because truth be told I was losing my mind trying to let go of him.

"Sit down honey." Mom said.

Oh no. whenever she wants to have a serious talk, she always starts with calling me _honey_. I'm doomed. I sat down across from them at the table and stared down.

"Darling, your mom and I are a little….. well.. ummm…" He stopped what he was saying, searching for the right word. "Scared for you. Wait.. maybe that isn't what I should say."

"Honey, what your father and I are saying is that you don't seem like yourself. You don't talk, move, you don't even nag at Billy. We're a little frightened."

Of course they would be.

It's been 2 months since that vampire left me, and he didn't even say goodbye. I blinked back the traitor tears that were begging to spill over. Who was I to cry? I deserve him. He pushed me away and broke me. I deserved this pain.

"I'm alright mom. Dad. Really. Nothing's wrong at all. I promise."

I'd been saying this so frequently to Becky, Matt, Mom, Dad, I was starting to believe it myself. Maybe it was true. But then again.… maybe it wasn't. I was lying.

"No you're not. We can see right through your façade." My mother groaned.

I stood up fast, knocking the chair I was sitting in smack onto the floor in a heap of nothing. Ti didn't matter to me. Screw it. I didn't even break it.

"I said I was fine. I don't need help. I can do this without you. So just leave me ALONE!"

I stomped out of the kitchen and ran to the staircase.

Once I reached the stairs I stopped and stared at the steps. These were mocking me. Each step I would take at night meant I would soonly reach tears. My room was right there above this staircase.

I blinked again, getting rid of tears as I took the first step of the staircase I gasped.

_He said he loved me._

I took another step.

_He used to kiss me to where he took my breath away._

Another.

_When he first kissed me, and he bit my neck, and I fainted._

And another.

_We cuddled._

More and more steps I took lead to more sadness.

_His nose as it would skim my jaw, my cheeks. His touch. The way he loved me. The way I loved him. The way we loved each other._

When I reached the top of the staircase I felt silent tears fall down my cheeks.

I deserved this. He didn't love me so he left me. I deserved it. More than I deserved anything.

I walked into my room and wiped away my tears with my fingers. I could feel the tear of my heart break more, so I breathed in and tried to soothe the pain. Pain always came with it.

I grabbed a long shirt from my drawer and a towel from the closet in the hallway, and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower.

When I said it was quick, I wasn't kidding. I hopped in the hot water, and let the water relax my timid muscles as best it could.

I shaved, shampooed, washed and dried. When I was done brushing my teeth and hair, I stepped out of the bathroom and back into my room.

I wasn't up to anything, and I guess I was lucky because I didn't have any homework tonight, I just laid in my bed.

I started thinking about Alexander, and our wonderful and cherished memories, the ones we shared together before we separated.

Before I knew it I was asleep, and I was dreaming. I still woke up crying. But, it was different.

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I still woke up crying, just like every other night, but I heard knocking. I wiped away the tears that usually fell in my sleep, and sat up. The knocking seemed to be coming from the opposite direction, than where my door was. I searched my room aimlessly waiting for me to wake up fully.

It was hard, getting used to dark after my eyes opened up.

My eyebrows quirked in confusion as I scanned my room over and over again.

"Wha….?" I pushed the covers off of my body and stood up slowly. I wasn't the best coordinated as soon as I woke up.

I heard more knocking and I found it was coming from the window.

My heart started to race.

What fi it was s burglar. But then why were they knocking.

Maybe it was just a tree.

Maybe it was well, anyone.

Or worse… maybe it was Alexander.

Oh no.

I pushed my curtains aside, and stared outside my window.

I gasped at who I saw.

I opened my window slowly. And as I stared at the boy hanging on a tree limb grunting, I asked,

"What the hell are you doing here Trevor?" I snarled.

"Just let… me.. in…" he grunted out best he could.

I moved to the side and he stretched his legs through my window, and climbed in.

I grimaced. He looked at me and took in my appearance. I glared back at him. "What do you want, and why are you here?"

"I told you… You are going to move on."

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**I know it was short,,, but still tell me what you think! **

**Reviews make a happy writer.. im gonna warm you... after next week, i wont be able to upload in a really long time. but ill be writing a lot no matter what.. so ill be giving u a treat with a few good chapters for my stories.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok here is chapter 3. I know it's not long. But I was in a hurry. I know you wanted it and wanted you to know that I have not by any means fallen off the face of this earth.**

**So here you go.**

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Admitting and plan

Trevor's Pov!

I tried not to laugh at Raven as she opened up her window to let me in. I swung my legs over the windowsill and touched her floor.

Soccer does come in handy.

"What are you doing here Trevor?" She asked in a sneer.

"Aw come one. I'm here to see you Monster Girl." I was being honest….. halfway.

"Yeah sure. You are. But it's in the middle of the night!" She whisper yelled.

"Ok so I came past your bedtime. Your mommy gonna call the police on me?" I asked…. In a very rude voice. So I was being rude. I came here! I didn't do anything wrong.

"No she won't" Raven said but paused. "But I will if you don't climb out the way you came in." She ordered.

"Look Raven I came here to talk." I admitted. I wasn't one to be honest, but if I wanted to do what I want to, a little honesty couldn't hurt.

She looked at me skeptically, hard, and then glared her way back to her bed and she sat down. "If you must say something Trevor then say it." She spat.

I frowned. What a nice greeting.

"Why are you so upset over that Alexander dude?" I asked her. She always seemed so frustrated and glared at anyone who gave her the wrong look. More so now than ever before and when vampire boy was around.

"I don't have to answer your questions. I said you could ask, not that I would answer."

"Touché." I grinned, but my grin slipped when I realized she wasn't going to answer. "Why won't you answer?" I felt a little uncomfortable standing in the middle of her room, only place to sit would be her bed, or the floor, and I wasn't looking forward to lying on the floor. "Can I sit please?" She looked at me with sock surprise. "What?" I asked.

"You said please. Maybe you do have a little line of a nice streak." She mumbled the last part under her breath, so I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear it, but I did. Not like I was going to call her on it. Usually I would, but this is on a different circumstance.

"If you must." She huffed.

I sat down on the edge of her bed and watched as she lay down. She gave me a look saying _touch-me-and-die_. I gave her a sly smile.

"What do you want to know exactly?" She asked me.

My expression must have been priceless, because she laughed a little. "So surprised I'm willing to answer?"

"A little." I admitted. I thought I was going to have to go to extreme measures. She must be going easy on me.

"He was the only person other than Becky who loved me for me. Mom and dad think it's wrong to dress like I do. Billy is the same. Others at school, it's not easy being different from others, thinking differently, and then having it thrown in your face that you'll never be the same. It's not like I want to be the same as most girls. Wear polo shirts and the color," she gulped, "pink. He was the same as me, except of course in boy form. He liked me for me. And now I'm back where I started. Becky is the only person, other than myself, who feels that way." She sighed harshly and tried looking away from me. I could see she was about to cry, and she tried hiding her face.

"You don't have to hide when you cry. It's not like I'm going to make fun of you. This is a reason to cry."

"Yeah well, you can't expect me not to think that." She let a few tears fall and wiped them away. Why exactly did you come here tonight Trevor? Did you only come here to watch me cry?"

I tried asking myself why I was coming here before I even got into her window, it was the same question I asked and I still didn't have an answer for her or for me.

"I really don't know."

I thought over what she said why she felt so upset over vampire boy. She said no one other than Becky liked her for her. She… she's completely wrong!

"Why do you think no one else likes you for you?" I asked her with harsh tone.

"Hello! Are you blind? I'm not the most popular person in class. Not that I want to be. I just loved that… that feeling. When Alexander and I were together he brought a side of me that was a little different than who I showed to anyone." She looked down, completely embarrassed, but my infatuation never seized.

"What if someone else liked you for you, and never wanted you to change?" I asked her.

"Have them prove it, show it, and then say it, and then I'll believe it." She yawned wide and I chuckled. "I think it's time for you to go. I'm tired."

"Okay. Goodnight Monster Girl." I said as I pushed my legs outside of her window and climbed onto the think branch. I didn't hear a reply so I assumed she would be already asleep.

I walked the streets now, only a few blocks away from my house and starting think about what she said.

"_Have them prove it, show it, and then say it, and then I'll believe it." _She said.

Prove it, I can do that. Gonna cost some cash. Time to get in my money drawer.

Show it, that's going to be a little harder. But not impossible.

Say it, That's going to be the hardest thing with all three.

Proving and showing it are to different things from saying it.

And I was not looking forward to saying it.

Question is now, do I want her to now that I care about her, or do I just want her to think it's someone different?

This question is going to take some time answering.

I'll leave her alone for a few days. I should have my answer by then.

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**I know its not very long. this really is just the filler. there conversation doesnt have much to do with the story. i thought it would be cute if she admitted how she felt with Alexander and y she felt so hurt now... now in a few more chapters... guess what... it gets juicy!**

**Ok there you go! What did you think?**

**What is Trevor thinking of doing?**

**What did her mean by "do I want her to now that I care about her, or do I just want her to think it's someone different?"**

**What do you think he meant?**

**I'm not a mind reader people. Review to me what you think. Plus if you have any suggestion feel free to add those!**

**Reviews are grateful and without them I have no inspiration!**

**Give me inspiration!**


	4. Chapter 4 Authors Note

Hello, everybody, I know its been forever since I updated so I hope to be updating by late February, and it should be worth the wait.

If u all want to friend me, my account on facebook, for and my chatango friends my email is aralanajleelovings96 or just look my pen name up!


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry its so short... was in hurry to update finally... im working on making longer chapters... here you go...**

**for now there will be a lot of**** fillers. but they will go with what will happen in the story u will read why lol...**

**have fun reading!**

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Trevor's POV!

Today of all days I woke up early. Mom had left early along with dad on her heals. She was crazy around this time of the year, looking out for the newest styles. I wasn't exactly sure where she was going and neither was she, but I gave it my best to help her out, without changing who I really was.

I missed Raven already. Frowning I walked to my bathroom and turned the shower to hot and climbed in. Sighing, I reached for my shampoo. Funny, I didn't even like axe but my mother still bought it for me. Dark temptation was a scent that made me sneeze, but she wanted all the girls to think I smelled _sexy._ I just wanted one girl to think I smelled sexy.

That probably sounded weird, but it still made sense….. I think. I was already done with my shower in no time, but I didn't want to leave the warmth. I thought about last night, and how Raven finally opened up to me and said exactly what needed to be said. Between me and her, things had to change.

I don't think she actually knew what was in store for us. We were of two different sides, but like that cliché saying, we collided. I liked that we collided. It was like we were magnets and I was negative and she was positive. We couldn't come together without two hands forcing it.

I could have given her anything she wanted. But I didn't think she even wanted me around.

Last night I made myself make a promise to her even though I didn't say it to her. I was going to leave her alone for a few days. Let her rest and come to terms that I really wanted something more than just calling each other names.

It would be a while before anything happened, I understood that. That Alexander boy decided to mess her heart up and made me want to kill him. My dark angel didn't deserve a guy like that.

After the water started to turn cold I shut the tap off and grabbed my towel.

Today was going to be a long day.

School was an hour away, and the only reason I was looking forward to it was because there was a certain black haired girl who would be there.

But then I remembered I wouldn't be talking to her for a while.

I wasn't going to ignore her; I was just going to give her some space. She deserved it, and I knew she needed it.

I was sure this day was going to be very long. Even the next day would be too. Maybe even the day after that!

How long did I expect myself to go without talking to Raven?


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